I am trying to catch up with life after attending a conference. Am not succeeding much and found myself disoriented. Trying to establish new routines and discarding old ones, like changing seasonal clothing.
Some new routines and resolutions seem to help, at least for the time being. For instance, deciding on being with my son for his new sporting adventures. Let us see if I succeed in protecting my time to do so, and if my energy levels help.
There are systemic factors influencing us all, I think, how we live each day, and somehow inviting us to keep up the pace. I call them systemic because they influence work, family and other stuff in my life. Just to name a few:
- National mourning
- The media and the news raising concerns about energy crises and cost of living.
- The new academic term coming soon.
- Emails that normally would not be received another time.
In the midst of preparations for the new academic term, I feel anxious. As in a dream where a race or an event has started and am still trying to find my bearings and not succeeding in being there. I try to join others, only to get lost. Buildings, elevators, roads, I travel. Familiar places look confusing.
Not all is lost I think. In the dreams I accept that I have my own pace and style to catch up. I somehow find it satisfying to slow down. Like in a bike race many years ago when I decided that I was not going to win it, but was going to complete it. And so I did. Arrived within the time limit. It felt rewarding, it felt complete. And it was not a dream.
So much for catching up. I think I will let life catch up with me instead of the other way round. Like the bike race, will try to pace myself...
