Tired after zooming in and out

It’s not easy to accept that I am tired and am allowed to have bad or less exciting days. 

(Source:  http://clipart-library.com/clipart/741683.htm)

The pandemic has asked to be really alert.  This is like going into overdrive more often than not. Part of the new ‘normal’ for people like me. 

(Source: https://www.istockphoto.com)

For example, taking each of my children to buy sports gear in the last couple of days and in between work meetings proved to be taxing.  I was careful and so were they.  An opportunity to go out and fulfil promises, also to zoom out after being online (which really drains me after an hour or so!). Still, we missed not cleaning an item or checking on another one before using it, and my mind raced to foresee tragic consequences.  To top it all, watching the news made me feel powerless and feel in need of a hug.  

https://dougdvorak.com/worry-never-works-take-action/

When things like this happen, I withdraw and try to recover, often doing so on my own. I curse, I panic, I go into fight or flight mode, only to fall (even more) tired and regretful. 

Perhaps it’s time to continue accepting we cannot control everything around us, and give ourselves a pat in the back for having tried to do our best, or even failing. 

Let’s accept the good and the bad.  Let’s hope we can do better tomorrow, perhaps more slowly.  We are still in lock down, even if that means slowly learning to live differently, with our different selves, and with the virus. 

Our creativity is still at work. Silently, she is leading us to complete the day. She might be saying: “No need for big fanfare. Just a bit of routine, tantrums allowed along the way”, putting her hand in our chests to let us know we are all right.  

Source:  https://sunflowerrosecw.wordpress.com/tag/inspiring/

Let’s acknowledge that in certain circumstances, zooming in and out is tiring, and that we are just learners who are not alone in this journey.  Creativity is there, with all of us living the best way we can, just for today. 

Forthcoming Book: Creativity in Management Education - A Systemic Rediscovery

I have pleasure to announce my new book which is due to be published by September 2020, and which I talked about previously in this blog.  

(Click on the image to go to the publisher's website)

The book is the result of critical analyses of management education and myself as a student and currently an educator.  I venture to explore a number of ideas to help us all rediscover ourselves and regain a sense of creativity and transcendence, for our own benefit and for the benefit of those people around us.

Educational institutions are now being challenged to offer new forms of delivery, and with it a rethink of their roles in societies.  In this regard, this book could offer insights on what to do and where to start.  Among other things, I speak about compassionate and technology mediated interactions, which could help us keep ‘soft’ educational tyrannies at bay, and enable us (re) discover different roles and practices to redress power imbalances generated by such tyrannies.  

So if you want to know more about educational tyrannies, myself, my experiences of nurturing creativity in and out of the classroom (the good and the bad, the ethical), buy the book or recommend it to your librarians or sponsors.  

There will be an electronic version available by August 2020 😁😁.

Further links: 

Link to Springer (has PDF promotional flyers)

Link to Amazon’s website (has bit more of detail)

Creativity and Living with the Virus

Like many people out there and in lock down, I am starting to accept the situation that we are currently living in.

My first reaction from the last few weeks was to catch up with life online.  My teaching had to be moved to the virtual world in the space of two days.   

I initially struggled with the online platforms that are on offer (zoom, MS teams). The workplace had not fully set them up and it took sometime for all of us to learn to share their use.  

Still things can be improved, and now we have a full examination period coming up online.

At home I had to become more patient.  Combining work with just spending idle time has not been easy for me.  And as a creative person, I am supposed to make the best of the situation.  

But I am also an anxious one, so my creativity needs to accept that the adjustment is to take some time.  

Cooking, gardening, reading crime novels, video-conferencing, writing a new book, shopping, going for runs, more gardening, cleaning, more cooking, stopped writing the book (it is with my proofreader now), restarted writing old papers and new papers.   And a good support group with bit more of mindfulness practice have become the activities of my week.  

I thought I was not doing much, but on the whole and looking at the above list, it is quite a lot!

Creativity is still here with me, with my family, with neighbors, with key workers in supermarkets and in hospitals, with the self-employed.  It is not the old creativity we used to know.  Rather, and like the virus, she has mutated for good.  She is asking us to focus on the important things, to rest, to chat with loved ones, to make things simpler, to stop unnecessary shopping, to consider how we are going to make the best of the online world, to be more compassionate with ourselves and others.  

For me this would mean being bit more patient, pray again, meditate again, enjoy my slow writing, my close family, my cycling (when possible), and my garden.  

And for you?  

Try to rediscover your creativity, welcome her back to your home and your souls, don't ask her for the impossible.  And enjoy her company.  

My creativity syndromes

After my last post on creativity habits, which I hope sound positive and encouraging, now I would like to share my 'negatives' about creativity.   I decided to call them syndromes, as this last word seems to be more recognized and acknowledged.

A sticker from Hyper-Japan Fair,2019

My creativity syndromes are certain habits and ways of thinking about myself and the world that do not help me.  In a nutshell, they keep me with fear and doom about my creative work.   They are now easy to spot, but difficult to manage, specially because they are ingrained in how I think about myself and the world around me.   

I seem to have acquired them when growing up. They probably helped me for a while, but now they seem to be in the way of me trying to live more creatively.    They drain my energy, and make me feel miserable at times.  

Because of these and other reasons, they need to be identified. So here they are:   

• Misplaced loyalty: I tend to overcommit to clans or tribes.   My commitment of saving the world by writing about it often leads me to say yes without thinking too much.   I give my allegiance to people and causes which, after a while, end up draining my energy because they do not align with my inner values or motivations.   I overdo helping those who have trouble in their academic careers, those with few friends, those who insist in working with me or those who praise me. I create unbalanced relationships in which I am willing to give more than what I receive. 

• Perfectionism.  I grew up thinking that I could become one of those ancient Kings (including Jesus Christ) that I read about in a book of Sacred Religious Catholic history: Noble and helpful, one which never complained and did good to everyone around; never tired, living according to high moral standards.  When I talked about this to a psychotherapist many years ago, he told me that I had a wrong idea about being 'good':  Jesus Christ expelled those who were trading in a sacred place!. It is difficult for me to accept failure and I fear failing.   So I often decide not to try, specially when there is strong competition around me. However, I also react when I see that things are not right.  

• Being an imposter.  I keep thinking:   Did I really deserve praise?   Do people really value me or my work?  Combined with the above misplaced loyalty and perfectionism, I have these moments of anxiety where I decide that what I do is not enough and I fear that someday, someone is going to 'find out', so I work harder.  

Life has taught me (sometimes the hard way), that these syndromes are not good for my health and thus for my creativity.   I now recognize more often and earlier when these syndromes show up. When they do,  I try to give myself a hug and say:  I am OK, I am good enough.   Work is just work.   Life is bigger than this or that situation.

I recently heard someone suggesting that we need to look at our relationship with both success and failure, so that we keep a balance in the stories about these guys that we entertain in our minds.   Wise words...

This guy will always make me feel special

I also try to remind myself now and again that what I creatively do has to do with my own personal values, and that they are good enough.   When I feel anxious, I talk to loved ones, to colleagues that do not take life too seriously, to people who know what I have been through or .  Or even if they do not know, they who are not judging me as hard as I judge myself.

To my dear creativity syndromes:   You are welcome to visit, but not to stay too long, I have more important things to do in life, and that includes being creative!