Listening to and Pleasing : What a difference!

Last week I was teaching a class about project  management to my students, so I started with the idea that a project is to meet a number of needs from stakeholders.  As usual and (un)fortunately, another idea came to my mind about how projects are born.  We tend to think that we are to continuously please our audiences (customers, students, even the wife!), so we are here for them, so as to make our jobs worth pursuing and worth paying for.  But somehow I managed to make a distinction between listening to and pleasing.

Pleasing seems to be a common trait in the work of many managers and specialists.  They want to give their audiences the best: "The customer is always right!" we hear and often accept.  The more expert we become, the more we think we 'know' what our audiences want.  But if we are going to better understand their needs, what they want to achieve in life, and more importantly how we are to support them in their life quests, it is essential to look at how we listen to them.

I said to my students: Imagine if I please you continuously, what challenges would you have to meet by yourselves?  What sort of core ideas and concepts am I going to offer to you for you to solve real life problems?  How can I stretch their minds if I just please them with all the answers, superficial content, whilst they continue browsing through their mobile phones and laptops the latest gossip in Facebook?  What if you always do what the customer says?  You should always reply to their requests, but that is different from pleasing them.  

I am not against Internet browsing (I do it a lot, even to look for the latest reviews of products that I have already bought!), as long as it does not take over concentration.  Turning this situation for the better, it seems that when 'browsing', students and customers (me included) are looking for something else in our lives. As managers and educators we should be listening to ourselves and our audiences, trying to see the bigger picture.  What is it that we really mean?  What is it that we want to achieve?  What are their worries?  

I might not be able to please myself or my audiences fully, but at least I can try to think of our and their needs and expectations.    This might take time and patience, also letting go of our idea of "thinking about the product that is to meet their needs" and replacing it for the idea that "there is a person there with a problem or a need, and I will see that I do what I can that fits both of our circumstances and help us both".  This can apply to many activities in projects, including their definition and their planning.  

And if this applies to work, how could it apply to the rest of our lives?  

Time to listen, what a precious think to have.  Listening and Pleasing, what a difference!