30 June 2020

Tired after zooming in and out

It’s not easy to accept that I am tired and am allowed to have bad or less exciting days. 



The pandemic has asked to be really alert.  This is like going into overdrive more often than not. Part of the new ‘normal’ for people like me. 




For example, taking each of my children to buy sports gear in the last couple of days and in between work meetings proved to be taxing.  I was careful and so were they.  An opportunity to go out and fulfil promises, also to zoom out after being online (which really drains me after an hour or so!). Still, we missed not cleaning an item or checking on another one before using it, and my mind raced to foresee tragic consequences.  To top it all, watching the news made me feel powerless and feel in need of a hug.  


When things like this happen, I withdraw and try to recover, often doing so on my own. I curse, I panic, I go into fight or flight mode, only to fall (even more) tired and regretful. 


Perhaps it’s time to continue accepting we cannot control everything around us, and give ourselves a pat in the back for having tried to do our best, or even failing. 

Let’s accept the good and the bad.  Let’s hope we can do better tomorrow, perhaps more slowly.  We are still in lock down, even if that means slowly learning to live differently, with our different selves, and with the virus. 

Our creativity is still at work. Silently, she is leading us to complete the day. She might be saying: “No need for big fanfare. Just a bit of routine, tantrums allowed along the way”, putting her hand in our chests to let us know we are all right.  



Let’s acknowledge that in certain circumstances, zooming in and out is tiring, and that we are just learners who are not alone in this journey.  Creativity is there, with all of us living the best way we can, just for today


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